Let's face it we all want to learn how to become a better conversationalist. It has been proven over and over again that all things being equal people will do business and deal with people they like. All things not being equal, they still will. So the saying, “When you smile the whole world smiles with you” is very true. You “get” the reaction you “give.” As humans, we often mirror the reaction we get. So what assets do we need to possess to have better conversations and make positive things happen in our life:
1. Personality - nothing will attract people to you better than a charismatic personality. A great personality is the cure-all when it comes to dealing with people. In terms of qualities, leaders look for people that have a better attitude, are better liked, and have a more positive effect on the people around them.
2. The Art of Influence – Influence is a powerful skill/talent. It is also particularly important for anybody who wants to be more effective with people. Your ability to alter the thoughts, moods, and emotions of other people indicates how much of a great conversationalist you are. An article in the Harvard Business Journal reported a study in Social Neuroscience which found that the follower dynamic is not a case of two or more independent brains reacting to each other but rather their minds, in a sense, fused into one system.
3. What happens when you walk into a room? When you say, "Good morning" do people respond in a genuine enthusiastic way? Their response has much to do with the influence you have on them. Influence not only gives you the ability to alter moods, but it gives you the capability to create them. In order to be effective with people, you must help them think the way you think and feel the way you feel. Become the kind of person people will listen to and have the kind of attitude people want to emulate.
4. Find your strong positive characteristics and amplify them i.e. if you are funny, thoughtful, selfless, insightful and interesting.
5. Making someone laugh is great but the truth is you don’t have to make them laugh in order to be an effective conversationalist, but you do have to make them smile! You also need to know how to take a joke! Being an easy going person who can make others smile is a priceless people skill that can make a world of difference in your daily relationships. Create topics where there are opportunities to have fun.
6. Make others feel important. The people who are truly confident at socialising have learned that taking your eyes off yourself is the best way to get a positive reaction out of people.
7. Be willing to help. Look for ways to help others every day.
8. Be interested in their interests – learn more about the person you are talking to – important in sales. Make others feel important. Be interesting and interested!
9. Leave them feeling better than when you found them. Make others feel good by influencing them in a positive way.
10. Finally, surround yourself with honest people who feed your mind and soul and who you trust!
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