"We all have two lives. The second one begins the day you realize you only have one."

“We all have two lives. The second one begins the day you realize you only have one.”

Dear Friends,

When life interrupts us it's how we respond rather than react that counts!

"We all have two lives. The second one begins the day you realize you only have one." - Confucius (Chinese philosopher)

I recently presented at a BBG forum on how to navigate through a life-threatening crisis. Below is the summary of my presentation.

From the onset, I want to say when life interrupts you it’s not one size fits all. I understand some people are doing it really tough. I respect that each person is an individual and their way of dealing with something so big can be different.

I realise that being a sales coach by profession and working to unlock people’s potential to become better in pushing through sales has really served me well.

Selling requires resilience, determination, and a huge amount of self-belief. Three key elements in surviving a tough health issue.

People have constantly been asking me what have I been doing to remain so strong and positive. Stage IV rectal cancer is quite a lot to deal with.

I recently analyzed my behaviour throughout this year and the result is set out below. I was in fact following a process a pattern of behaviour and it stems from mindset. No surprises there!

Step 1: Please Be careful of your emotions and actions at this very delicate time in your life!

"The boat doesn't sink because it is surrounded by water, it sinks because the boat allowed the water to enter." Warren Buffett

This quote I believe has been fundamental to my health and well-being. I have remained quite businesslike with my approach to dealing with this.

If you allow those emotions of fear, uncertainty, doom, and gloom to enter your body you will sink just like the boat! Keep the water out.

From the second you are diagnosed with a life-threatening illness your life is turned upside down.

Your life is suddenly endless specialist appointments, blood tests, scans, treatments, and then repeat.

I am now entering my 10th month of treatment. The Prince of Wales Hospital is my office. I do income-producing work whilst having chemo. You got to love technology sometimes just not all the time (thanks to Optus!!).

I have not allowed my emotions to enter my ship. Focus on what IS rather than what IF.

Step 2: Surround yourself with your support team

As the saying goes, "You become the average of the five people you spend the most time with, and there is nothing you can do about it."

Be around loving, positive and uplifting people and most importantly the best medical team you can.

Friends and family are not doctors and specialists in oncology or whatever you may be suffering.

You may be confronted with an avalanche of messages and phone calls from well-meaning family and friends.

Just because they know someone who went through this doesn’t mean they are doctors.

ONE VOICE otherwise it gets very confusing and Loud! If you are not happy with your medical team, seek a second opinion, you are not married to them!

Step 3: Decide to make a decision to Live.

You get to choose your response to this situation. I repeat the word “CHOOSE”. Back to SINK or SWIM!!

Move away from all negativity, stories of other people, and their prognosis. Every cancer is different, every experience is different and this is your race to stay alive. Avoid all the noise and put your trust in one voice your medical team.

Step 4: Commit to getting better mentally and physically.

This is done by creating good habits. It will include exercise, diet, meditation, yoga, or things that make you happy. There are endless things we can do to give us joy. Find your bliss and follow it!

Step 5: Find your Purpose.

To me, Purpose is Ideas, Conversation, Connection and most importantly being part of a community of like-minded people.

The things you speak are the things you have in your life.

This is what PURPOSE gives you a reason to get up each morning.

PURPOSE IS A POWERFUL WORD AND IF YOU PEEL THE LAYERS BACK LIKE AN ONION AND GO TO THE CORE YOU WILL FIND ANOTHER WORD – ITS IMPACT!

WHERE CAN YOU USE YOUR STRENGTHS TO CREATE THE MOST IMPACT!!

IMPACT GIVES YOU EFFECTIVE DIRECTION.

CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOU CAN USE YOUR TIME EFFECTIVELY YOU WILL CREATE ACTUAL EVIDENCE OF YOUR SUCCESS?

In my case, in the last 12 weeks, I have raised over $54,000 with a goal of $100,000 into the Walter and Eliza Hall Institute for research into rare cancers. Rare cancers get little funding however we now know that one out of three cancer patients have rare cancer. Therefore, rare cancers are becoming less rare! If you have the capacity to give a tax-deductible donation please do at https://www.mycause.com.au/p/288521/odiles-good-fight-against-rare-cancers

At a time when I could go into paralysis and pull down the shutters, I CHOOSE to go the other way and mobilise my energy and do good. It’s Powerful energy that may save my life and definitely help others.

Step 6: Let it Go. Whatever is holding you back – anger, bitterness, pain, negativity – let it go. We are all on the same time clock and none of us know when the clock will stop.

Holding onto those types of thoughts can hinder your recovery.

In the case of pain, I am a big believer in pain management. Seek the advice of your medical team right from the beginning on how best to deal with your pain.

This is a top priority and something that requires discussion right from the beginning of your treatment.

I had excruciating pain during my 30 radiotherapy sessions. The internal linings of my bowel, vagina, and rectum were all burnt. Most afternoons after radiotherapy I was in the fetal position on the couch in agony!! Once the pain was under control I was like a different person.

Step 7: What is your vision for your life beyond being unwell? Plan your life. Have something to look forward to. Create a vision board.

Having meaning in your life is essential as it helps you contend with your cancer battle. The best way to find a vision for your life is to spend time with yourself. Get to understand what you deeply care about.

Usually, people put things into categories: Family and Friends, Community Service, Financial goals, Health and Fitness, Professional and Career, Things you want to buy, Adventure, and travel. There are probably many more categories to choose from. Compile your categories and goals and present them on a board and stick them in front of you on your desk or a place where you often are.

Visualising your future is the best way to navigate your present.

Step 8: Finally, ANY ILLNESS is a mind game as much as a physical endurance test.

Commit to smiling and being happy. Don’t let the illness take everything away from you. I know it is easier said than done. We all have our bad days. It is okay.

Accept them. I have literally emptied a box of tissues crying in my office with the door closed. Some days are very overwhelming however when we revert back to all the things we have, and focus on having more of those things that we love, we can direct our mind to get away from those black thoughts.

I wish each and every one of you that are currently experiencing illness a long and productive life. I hope that sharing my tips above has been useful.

You can watch the full presentation below!!